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Over the past decade, numerous social networking sites (SNSs) have evolved. With a simple click, we can view friends, family and even strangers’ posting entries of their lives. Facebook is one of the most widely used platforms for social networking.
Recent data shows, young women tend to use social platforms more when compared to young men. SNSs posts can easily lead to social comparison(s).
There are 2 types of social comparisons:
• Downward – comparisons made with posts where the reader thinks the person is worse off
• Upward – comparing oneself to someone that appears to be better off (Willis, 1981)
(Willis, 1981)
SNSs have a strong tendency for social upward comparison. Because posts are typically showing the person(s) in a positive light, creating the illusion that their life is truly wonderful. Readers are left comparing their normal life to a customized portrait (post) that often does not reflect reality (Leung & MacDonald, 2022).
Leung and MacDonald (2022) state that over the years, studies have been conducted regarding social comparisons, due to the increasing amount of time young people spend on Social Media Platforms. Research has shown that younger audiences (college-aged) tend to post entries that are over-exaggerated “happy” posts, leading to upward comparisons which can have negative consequences for the reader.
Negative impacts include:
• Lower life satisfaction
• Depression symptoms
• Lower self-esteem
• Negative moods
How do these posts impact Romantic Relationships
Each person uses social media for different reasons. The most negative impact on romantic relationships is for the people that show tendencies of attachment anxiety – high fears of rejection endorsement of relationship insecurities, and maladaptive interpersonal tendencies. Persons with attachment anxiety might excessively monitor their partner’s online activity which can lead to romantic jealousy. Jealousy can also be triggered from the perception of closeness from a partner’s online interactions with parties perceived to be “rivals.” This can have negative consequences, leading to romantic dissatisfaction, conflict, cheating or even divorce. People with attachment anxiety tend to have a need to post about their romantic relationships. They have a strong desire to make sure their relationships are visibly known (Leung & MacDonald, 2022).
Those who have anxiety attachment and are involved in a romantic relationship, SNS use can impact the health and success of their relationships. Posting relationship entries opens the door to third – parties – those who view the posts. Less research has been done from the external viewer’s impact. One study demonstrates how viewers can draw conclusions about the quality of the relationship and the likeability of the person posting the entry. No exploration has been conducted into whether the viewer may be affected by viewing relationship entries online (Leung & MacDonald, 2022).
SNS’s provide an environment where viewers are exposed to potential triggers for romantic envy and social comparisons. If one is convinced that everyone else is in a relationship except for them, viewing romantic entries can be detrimental. Only a small amount of research has been done, but it indicates that this type of comparison evokes more negative feelings about themselves (Leung & MacDonald, 2022).
Leung and MacDonald (2022) state not everyone is negatively impacted by romantic comparisons. Research includes those with anxious attachment and singlehood. Being single is not negative, even though the stereotype indicates unhappy or lonely, there is little evidence to support Anxiously attached people are usually terrified of being single. This fear can result in maladaptive relationship behaviors, such as lowering standards for partners, longing for ex-partners, and in some cases infidelity. Anxious individuals that are also single, may be more vulnerable to romantic posts because they tend to focus on their single status.
Impact of Gender
Young women use social media more frequently and use social media to stay in touch with friends. Men tend to use social media as a tool to gather information. This led to the hypothesis that young single women may be particularly affected by romantic content (Leung & MacDonald, 2022).
Impacts on Young Women:
• Women are more relationship-dependent than men, therefore may be more in tune to and affected by romantic content.
• Women are more likely to feel judged for being single and perceive pressures to enter relationships
• Young Women with high attachment anxiety are susceptible to negative moods and lower self-esteem when viewing romantic content. These trends are not present when viewing neutral content.
The use of SNSs can have a negative impact when it’s used to engage in upward social comparison, resulting in lower self-esteem (Leung & MacDonald, 2022).
There is no clear answer as to whether using SNS is beneficial or detrimental. The answer is different for each user based on how they use social media. For some people, when it’s used to communicate with others and develop or maintain relationships, it can build self-esteem (Leung & MacDonald, 2022).
Recent research included negative consequences associated with social media with a focus on social comparisons of a romantic nature. To date, there has been little research done especially for single women who are worried about being single and how others perceive it online. Young women spend literally hours online everyday. The ill-effects of this type of exposure can lead to negative implications on both social and mental health functioning (Leung & MacDonald, 2022).
Recent studies indicate that the psychological closeness of the comparison figure does matter. Viewing posts from close friends/family did not experience the negative impact as compared to when viewing romantic posts of acquaintances.
Interpretations might be:
• It may be easier to be impacted by posts by acquaintances, and the viewer is more likely to take the post at face-value, even if the post has been exaggerated or may not be accurate.
• Romantic “success” may be a domain in which the self-evaluation maintenance theory does not fully apply. A friend being involved in a loving relationship does not detract from your own opportunities to find a partner. It’s easier to be truly happy for close friends and family when they have a successful romantic relationship, as opposed to being discouraged and/or jealous (Leung & MacDonald, 2022).
Conclusion
Social media in many ways can be beneficial depending on the user and how the sites are being viewed. Research supports that for some, especially young women, SNSs can lead to long-lasting negative consequences. Be aware of what upward romantic social comparisons are and the negative impacts it may bring. Young women may decide to limit time on social media and learn how to deal with any negative emotions they may feel. Keep in mind, many people will intentionally post happy, fun entries leading you to believe that their life is awesome. Always remember – posts are not always true. What you see is not always what is real.
Heart and Mind Counseling specializes in Self-esteem, depression, anxiety, inner conflict, relationship issues and negative relationship patterns. If you find while you are looking at social media posts you are being impacted in some of the ways above, contact us today so we can explore what it means for you. We can help you with your thought patterns, and emotions surrounding your self-perception, desires, expectations, realities of your relationships and life today!
References: Leung, P. C., & MacDonald, T. K. (2022). Please stop rubbing your relationship in my Face(book): An investigation of online romantic social comparison. Canadian Journal of Behavioural Science / Revue Canadienne Des Sciences Du Comportement, 54(3), 182–193. https://doi.org/10.1037/cbs0000307
